Your choices are remembered on this device.
Written for you, not about you
If a parent sent you this link, you are allowed to read it as though you found it yourself. There is nothing on this page designed to talk you into anything.
Straight to the point:
The basics
It is an hour, usually once a week, in a room with one person whose entire job for that hour is to pay attention to you.
That is genuinely it. Nobody lies on a couch. Nobody writes notes about your childhood while nodding. You are not being assessed, diagnosed or fixed, and there is no point at which someone tells you what your problem is.
The reason it helps is boring and real: saying something out loud to a person who does not flinch changes the size of it. Most people notice that in the first two or three sessions, before anything has been "worked through" at all.
No topic is too small
Anything. That is not a slogan, it is the actual rule. Here are things people have started with.
If you are hurting yourself, or you have been thinking about not being here any more, you can say that in this room too. Saying it out loud does not automatically trigger a phone call to your parents. What happens next depends on how much danger you are actually in — and if we did think something had to be shared, we would tell you first, and try to do it with you rather than behind your back.
The question everybody asks first
No. And here is exactly where the line sits, so you are not guessing.
What you say, who you talk about, what you think of your family, what you have done, what you are frightened of. Your therapist does discuss their work in supervision — that is a professional requirement for every therapist — but that person does not know your name.
They are paying, so they get to know you turned up and whether the work seems useful. They do not get a summary of what you said. If they push for detail, we say no — kindly, but we say no.
If we believe you, or another child, is at risk of serious harm, we cannot keep that to ourselves. That is the law and every therapist in the country works to it. You would know before it happened, and you would have a say in how.
We do not read your phone. We do not ring your school without asking you. We do not call your parents mid-week to report on you. We do not put things on your medical record — we are not part of the NHS.
Under 16, your parents usually have to know that you are coming and agree to it. That is about consent and money, not about content. From 16 you can arrange counselling yourself.
Before you get here
Knowing the room in advance takes about half the nerves out of a first session.
They are at an angle, so you are not staring at someone. You can also sit on the floor. People do.
The big light can go off if it is too much. The window looks at a wall and a tree, not at the street.
A box of stuff — putty, cards, a Rubik's cube that nobody has ever solved. Using them is not childish; adults use them too.
It is never locked. You can leave the room, get water, come back, or go home.
There is a kettle. Nobody is offended if you say no.
Sam does walking sessions up the valley. Some people find it far easier to say things while moving and not making eye contact.
Two fears, answered
No, and that is not a problem. Some sessions are twenty minutes of not much, and then one sentence that turns out to be the important one. Sitting quietly with someone is a completely legitimate use of the hour, and your therapist will not fill the silence just to make it less awkward.
Not knowing what to say is the normal starting position. Almost nobody arrives with a tidy explanation of what is wrong. If they did, they would probably not need to come.
Things that help when your head is blank:
If you want to start
Four steps. None of them commit you to anything, and you can stop after any of them.
Scroll sideways, or use the arrow keys
An email, or the short form on this page. Three words is enough. Nobody rings your house because you sent an email.
Goes to Sam, not to your parents
Usually within a day. He will ask if you want a phone call or if you would rather just book a time and turn up.
You choose
Fifty minutes. You do not have to explain everything. Most first sessions are mostly about how this works, not about you.
You can leave early
At the end you say yes, no, or "can I think about it". All three are normal answers and none of them are the wrong one.
No pressure, genuinely
Who you would be talking to
He has worked in secondary schools and in a youth counselling service in Bristol. He is hard to shock, comfortable with silence, and does not do the voice that adults sometimes do when they are being careful with you.
If you would rather see a woman, say so — Ruth and Joanna also see older teenagers, and asking is not rude.
More about SamNo. Weekly is what most people do because it keeps things moving, but fortnightly is a real option and we would rather you came fortnightly for a year than weekly for three weeks and then stopped.
Tell us. Two therapists at once usually pulls in different directions and is not better. We would rather help you work out which one to keep.
To the building, yes — they can wait in the waiting room. Into the session, no, because it changes what you are able to say.
No. In the real version of this practice you would email the address that goes straight to Sam, or use the short interface at the bottom of this page. You would not have to explain much — "I want to talk to someone" is a complete message.
Then you say so, or you say nothing and tell us afterwards, or you email us later. One session is not a contract. Quite a few people come once, decide it is not for them, and come back eight months later. That is fine and we do not comment on it.
It is the opposite of weird. A stranger has no stake in the argument, is not going to be hurt by what you say, and will not bring it up at dinner. That is precisely why it works.
In the real version this goes to Sam. It does not go to your parents, and nobody phones your house because of it. If you are under 16 we will need a parent involved before we can start — we will talk to you about how to do that, and we will not do it behind your back.
In the real version there is also an email address here that goes straight to Sam, so you never have to speak to anybody first.
Interface demonstration. It validates what you type and draws its confirmation state. It transmits nothing: there is no form element behind it, and nowhere for a message to go.
First name is fine. So is a made-up one for now.
An email address you actually check, and that nobody else reads.
Optional. Three words is a complete message.
Nothing will be sent. There is no form here and nowhere for a message to go. The button only draws what would happen next.
We are not an emergency service and nobody reads this inbox at 2am. These people are awake when we are not, and none of them will make you say your name.
If sending a message yourself feels like too much, a parent, a form tutor, a school counsellor or an older sibling can make the first contact for you. It does not make it less yours.